dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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