Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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