there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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