Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
one might say we're banned from that church
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
