Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
