a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I just want nice things and good sex
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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