I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
