What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
