belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
