cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
