Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
