"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
