This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
