I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
