I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
BRING THE BAGELS
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
