I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize
