dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
