went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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