awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
