Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The adults are the big ones right?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
