Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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