the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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