She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
