I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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