Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
They have beer where we have blood.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
