It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
