Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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