Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
