I could have mohawked her pubes.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
