Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
