She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
