My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
