What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
