Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
