grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize