i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
