Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
