she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
