The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
