Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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