i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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