I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
