no, he came in my armpit
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
