Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize