i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
and you fell through a lawn chair
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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