the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
