Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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