sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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