He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
