I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm going to jail i love you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
