so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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