ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
