i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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