Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
