we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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