I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Randomize
